DKC Atlas Forum

[A Saf]

Chimpy Kong - Treetop Town native; and later 1-star General, retired

We never saw the bastards coming. At least, not for us - Big Ape would be dense not to expect them from the sea. No; for us, for our land, they came from the mountains.

Oh sure, there were rumours. Everyone had sat around the fire at Cranky's, listening to tales he claimed to have swapped from a Yeti Kong for his electric torch. The tales of the Snow Krems, in a cwm deep in the Gorilla Glaciers. They're supposed to be blue, to blend in better than the lizards sailing around in the Abominations. His favourite story to tell on dark, stormy nights was the one about the poison pond, and iron caverns scraping the skies about it. The Yeti Kong was claimed to have saw such a thing, but really, who took Cranky seriously on anything?

No, there was no anticipation when they swooped down the slopes and surrounded us. Assisted by vultures and strange, spiked insects, there was no hope for our defense. They were among us; a complete route and violence beyond even the eldest's experience.

We scattered, most trying to make across the vine valley before the Krems cut off the lines. Poor bastards. Those lucky few who made it across the bay did not survive at the hands of the orangutans. But what the hell did they expect? They're vicious savages. Barrelchucking butt-monkeys of the highest degree. Of course they took the first opportunity to turn on us.

The smartest of us fled north, towards the barrel canyon and the Kongo jungle beyond. Of course the Krems anticipated this; with the fragile cannon causeway the only means of surmounting it, it became a chokepoint for refugee and reptile alike. Driven to desperation by the sudden intrusion of violence into our lives, we fought back, smashing them and tearing apart their leather. I had never felt that intensity in my blood before, but by the time this war was over, I'd harness that intension to drive them from our lives.

I remember Konga and I were stranded, pinned down and isolated by a group of grotesquely fat scalesuckers; their cranial sheath and pelvic pouching maddeningly clashing with those nightmares we see in dark shadows. We'd have been effed if it hadn't been for Funky, flying to our rescue in ridiculous airplane. I saw him rise over the horizon, zipping towards the bastards at a hundred miles an hour and just laughing like he was having the time of his life. I imagine he was, too, always dreamed of being an ace, ever since those Redbaron videosounds washed up when we were kids. He banked hard over them and unleashed a torrent of steel drums and I swear to god, he was laughing the whole time. Laughing and having a good old time.

We made it to across fine, and across the shores to Cape Coral. We collapsed, beside fires or in makeshift huts, on the floorboards of Funky's Flights and in the stoop of the bungaloes dotting the shorline. Too exhausted to care whether they'd creep silently in the night and slit our throats. Too tired to fight back if they did. They might have finished us that night, had they not set their eyes on foolish plunder. But for their greed, they might be still burrowed in our tree dens of our town. Instead, they gave us one night. One night to rest, to reflect, to plan. One night is all we needed to knock the head off those effing bastards, and we wasted no time in doing it.

Chunky Kong - Cape Coral Native; and later Mechanic, Second Class

Well, you gotta understand, it aint like nobody ever thinks about the Krems most the time. The ones live in the caves don't bother nobody, and it been years since any of em come from across the sea. Anyway, nobody really was one for reading much, cept the Donkey Kong troop really the only ones who learn it. Most of us just watch the videosounds at the cabin, Big Ape News and the letters. Cranky always willing to answer questions anyway, so everybody got along fine.

Till of course, the Abomination rolled over the sea. Newsprint pictures looked like some sort of monster risen from the depths. So of course, everybody out here in the Kongo started keeping each other informed on stuff that was happening out at Big Ape. Cranky left to the city soon, leaving us in our usual state of ignorance. Yet, there was more talking than usual. People were communicating more. Thinking about the end of times and dying and things.

I was working on the rotor joints on Funky's plane, him of course chiefing a doob in the cockpit with his feet kicked back. He says to me "Chunky," he says, "I'm going to need this airplane cherry, brah. Stuff's going down in the world, y'know'w'm'sayin'know'w'm'sayin' bro?"

I said back "Aww, nothing gonna happen this deep in the jungle." Funky pondered that as he ripped a fat light off his bannana leaf. "Well," he said, exhaling, "whatever it is, I gotta be ready. Gotta be a soulja, y'know'myeen? Heh!" He tilted his head back, savouring the tropic breeze.

That dumbass was always messing around like that. But he was a mechanical genius, and we're all happy to let him tool around in his garage in exchange for running errands through the sky. It was indeed a useful machine, but what could it do against a deep monster?

It wasn't until Cranky came back that I changed my thoughts. He brought many episodes of videosounds - filmed from the skies above. The Abomination was more horrifying than we thought. Trees, cut and bent, to form a huge plains, in the sea. Standing tall among this defilement were a species fronding towards the sky as intended; fitted with a grisly skin of the lizard. Swarming and teeming among the branches and their twisted root were crocodile men, vicious looking sumbitches. The minute the dayball sank and the tape wound out, I began tinkering with my own flyer.

I wasn't - still not very good, but I managed. Never really thought I'd use it like I did, but I thought I might impress Funky enough to help him on his errand routes. Move somewhere nicer, maybe make it in the Big Ape? Hahah, yeah right. Anyway, back to it, I was just putting the last coat of primer on her when those poor apes washed up on shore. I'd never ever, even having seen the pictures and the videosounds and the stories, believed what those boys told me about what happened at Tree Top Town.

I knew what I'd built this flying machine for that night. I spent into the dawn hours going over pre-flight, side by side with my friend and mentor. That morning, we packed a fat bowl as the apes gathered outside the garage. Funky had ducked out to speak with Cranky at first light; when he returned he told me about the banana horde. I was devastated. Funky put away his wrenches and picked up a pencil then. Said he was writing a speech. That I didn't believe either, until it was nearly upon us. But we were going in there. We were going to take our land back.

[Mr.Diddy]

I'm sorry, but what is this suppose to be? is it a story you made?

[Cody]

A Saf is a longtime member from the DK Vine forums who was permanently banned a few months back.

He posted the exact same topic over at DK Vine, so chances are registering and posting it here was his attempt to get reactions. What a (extremely) bad attempt this was, too.

[Qyzbud]

Well I for one think this is quite a nicely written piece of fan literature. A touch mature in language for a family-friendly site/forum like the Atlas, but nothing our word censor feature can't handle. I'm surprised it hasn't received more attention, to be honest. I missed this when it was posted because I wasn't very active on the forum here at that point, but I'd have applauded the writing had I seen it.

So...

Spoiler!

Not to derail this topic (or dig up old dirt), but what did A Saf do at the Vine that was so bad?

[Cody]

Heh, I just thought it was a bad attempt because 1. I saw it on DK Vine word-for-word, and 2. A Saf deliberately registered on here (and never logged back on) just to post this. That's it.

Not sure why he got banned....I try to stay out of forum drama.

[A Saf]

I just thought some of the DKC fans over here might have gotten a kick out of the little reimagining I did. Just a bit of fanwriting, no troll attempt or anything.

Glad I found at least one fan!

[Qyzbud]

Yep, you got through to me, at least... any chance of a sequel?