DKC Atlas Forum

[Kimi Kong]

...filming Tiny, whos still kissing the plant, to put it on youtube. DK notices you and...

[Super Luigi!]

...says, "Shhhh!" So, you knowing that it's wise to listen to DK, nod at him and tiptoe off. Then, you think about how you're going to unlock him in this game, and why you couldn't have just selected him or something along those lines. Suddenly, you are asked to write a word to unlock him. You write "B-A-B-Y" (which I heard is actually the button combination to unlcok DK in DKC, although it's false), the text box dings, leaves, and then you are face-to-face with Diddy and Dixie, who approve the code...

[Chibisai Kong]

...only under the condition you let Cranky...

[Super Luigi!]

...play you at Killer Instinct with his jumbo SNES controllers, and then...

[Chibisai Kong]

...torture him by having Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake...

[Super Luigi!]

...jump up and down and sing, "I Got You Babe", and then have the other Kongs sing along, which will then...

[Chibisai Kong]

...result in everyone's death but not before they all wonder...

[Super Luigi!]

..."What happened to the lights in here?" which will then prompt a fake Game Over screen, that has Diddy and Dixie sticking their tongues out and pulling their eyelids down at you, which will then lead to...

[Chibisai Kong]

...Quagmire from Family Guy repeatedly shouting, "Giggity!" and...

[Super Luigi!]

... random AC-130's come in and shoot up Krocodile Isle and then land at Funky's Flights to...

[The Banana Bird]

........set bombs all over Crocodile Isle!......

[Super Luigi!]

...Then, DK and Kiddy put on Juggernaut Suits and shoot their way into K. Rool's Keep, where Kaptain K. Rool takes off in his Krockship, just like Makorov did in MW3. DK jumps for the Kremicopter, pulls it down, and begins to fight the Kaptain. Next, ...

[Crammalamma]

...Diddy steals K. Rool's musket by distracting him with a laptop on Homestarrunner.com. They then defeat K. Rool, which leads to the Flying Crock exploding. The Kongs then land in a kart on N64 Rainbow Road. You now have to beat 1 lap in 1 minute, which is not possible until you find a 600cc engine. You must hit the star precisely on the middle of its right eye. It will break open, and a 600cc engine will pop out. Now, go back to the start line and finish the first lap in under 1 minute. After that lap, you'll find a feather, which must be used to jump into the hole in the star. You are teleported to...

[Super Luigi!]

...Yoshi's Island, where flowers bloom like no other place. After racing throughout the island, the Kongs find Yoshi and congratulate him on earning his Video Game Hero status. The Kongs then go through a pipe that somehow leads to Hyrule, and it is there that they go to congratulate Link. After this cutscene, you must find Link by...

[Geno]

... finding Tingle and shooting his balloon. He will fall and he will ask you to buy a map for 1000 Rupees.
But since you can't carry that much Rupees to begin with, you need to get 999 Rupees in 2 minutes. If you fail, you need to do this all over again. Now, go talk to Tingle again.
Instead of a map, you will be given the Lens of Truth which is used to...

[Super Luigi!]

...win at the treasure chest game and give you a Piece of Heart (WHOOPS DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD!), which Tingle will take in exchange for the map. Link will then pay 316 Rupees for the Piece of Heart and...

[Gaz]

...win at the treasure chest game and give you a Piece of Heart (WHOOPS DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD!), which Tingle will take in exchange for the map. Link will then pay 316 Rupees for the Piece of Heart and...

Michael Jackson will randomly destroy Crocodile Isle with his moonwalk and sing "Beat It" and scare all the Kongs away. Then...

[Super Luigi!]

... both Kong and Kremling will be on a raft, searching for another home. All the while, they are...

[Gaz]

traumatised by Michael Jackson's Beat It and get a seizure, due to all the trauma. They go down the water and...

[Geno]

...get chased by Croctopuses and Nemos (those nautilus things from DKL) for several hours. You need to survive until...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...get chased by Croctopuses and Nemos (those nautilus things from DKL) for several hours. You need to survive until...

...The helicopter arrives at the helipad directly 50 feet above your location. You will only be able to reach the helicopter in time before it leaves if you purchased "The definitive Calvin and Hobbes collection" from Wrinkly's Library at the last map screen (which should've been appropriately named "Dirty Socks"). Open up the pause menu, select the book from your inventory and the shear weight of it should lift you up to the surface of the water. Quickly move towards the shielded cockpit of the helicopter (as you only have a few seconds to unlock the next part of the cheat) and break open the glass using the "Calvin and Hobbes" book, which should be almost waterlogged. Hijack the chopper by repeatedly pressing the "melee" button (B). Make sure to wait a while before pressing it for the third time in a row or else your Kong will throw a plasma grenade at the pilot causing the entire helicopter to explode. Once in control of the helicopter, take note of the special cargo in the back, as it is really...

[Geno]

... 5000 Knockas waiting to kill you. You need to defeat all of them and throw them into the sea in 5 minuites, or you'll have to start this whole cheat again. The Knockas that are stuck in the water, should make a path towards...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...an offshore casino. Enter the casino and hijack the 5th slot machine. It requires 5 banana coins to operate. If you don't have these funds, hold up the casino in a robbery (you can do this by using any item in your inventory as a weapon), in this example we will use our water logged Definitive Calvin and Hobbes Collection. Rob the patrons until you have collected the required 5 coins and then proceed to the slot machine. Put the coins in the slot, but instead of pulling the lever, pull on the nose of a clown. He will sneeze. Get infected with the flu and you will get a "Game Over" screen accompanied by a render of your Kong in bed sick. However, this is not the end, as you can get out of the bed by pressing this sequence of buttons...

[Geno]

... Up, Up, Down, Left, Right, B, A, X, Y, Up, Left, A, which will cause some Tylenol to fall through the ceiling which will cure you. Go back to the slot machine and insert another 5 coins (if you don't have enough, rob the people again). Instead of a slot machine game, you will need to beat the 23 Round version of Pac Mania on Very Hard with 1 life. Once you complete it, you will...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...be transported into a bonus level. The objective claims to be to "Bash the Baddies", but what you must really do is smear the blood of the five enemies on five doors in the bonus area. Once you have done that, wait for the timer to expire. Once it does, instead of losing, a sixth door will be revealed. Enter it. Inside is a magic bowl of Cambell's chicken noodle soup. You must recite the words "Blaatu, Narada, Kikto." If you don't, an army of Grubbies will attack you. They are unbeatable, so you will have to restart the entire cheat again if you trigger their appearance. Once you have recited the words...

[Super Luigi!]

... a giant magical goldfish, who smiles back at you, will take you to Skidda's Row. Instead of the SNES/GBA DKC3 music, you will hear music from Skid Row. Complete the level and then go to K3. Once there, visit Bleak's House. You will find nobody there, so what you'll have to do, is read Charles Dicken's story Bleak House to find out the next step. In the book, it says to...

[Katastrophe Kong]

..."Kindly ask the Jerry bears for a cup of wrench." Head over to Razor Ridge and ask Benny and Bjorn for a wrench. With the wrench equipped in your hand, hold it in mid air and pretend to twirl an imaginary bolt. In doing so, you will actually turn the world upside down. All the water will fly towards the sky, and anything not bolted down or under a roof will fall down with it. Jump out of the cabin and down towards the troposphere. You must be carrying enough weight to break the atmosphere levels. Pull out your should-be-dry-now Definitive Calvin and Hobbes Collection book. The shear mass of the three gargantuan books together should get you into outer space. Once there, drift towards...

[Super Luigi!]

... the Moon, where you will need to fight Kackle and Kloak zombies. After defeating them, you will find a machine that you must turn on. Once you do, you will hear Dixie's echoed cry, as if you had entered a code on the title screen. This is a hint to reset your game. When you do so, the normal DKC2 menu screen will now be the DKC3 one with no music. Then change the language option to Francais, and then press left on your save file (unless you don't have one, then just press left on the first file). The screen will fade to black, come back, and you will see DK, Diddy, Dixie, Kiddy, and K. Rool all laughing at you and saying, "No way! No way! No way? No way!" At first, the code seems to be a giant lie and hasn't worked, but in reality, this screen is merely meant to trick and dishearten you, because you must then press...

[Katastrophe Kong]

... S A B A R (Select, A, B, A, Right Trigger). You will hear the "DK coin get" sound. You now have a large sword. Equip it and cut off K. Rool's head. Confetti will pop out and you will hear children cheer. Take out his skull and shove it in DK's mouth. You will automatically be transported to Pizza Planet. Win Woody and Buzz from the crane game, you will need to use them later in this cheat. For now, however, use a warp whistle and go to World 3. Enter the King's castle and kick off his crown. It turns out that this king is actually King Mario. Write the Declaration of Independence and present it to him. He will declare war on the Warp Zone colonies. Rally up as many troops around the different worlds as you can. Once you have about 317.98 soldiers, promote Woody to General and Buzz to Field General. Launch an attack on World 3 by...

[Super Luigi!]

... sending TNT-filled boats out into the water. When King Mario's forces attack them, the explosion from the dynamite blast will destroy them. While that's happening, you must have Simion32 Washington take Woody and Buzz across the Delibird River so that they can attack. After an intense fight, you should be at King Mario's castle. Defeat his guards by throwing tea and a monkey at them. They will be too busy trying to drink the tea and calm the monkey, that they will be no match for Woody and Buzz's Minute Maid Men. Instead of surrendering, King Mario will throw his cape off and his sceptor at you, and then begin to fight. To defeat him, you must...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...be sure to have the right teammates to fight him with, as this next battle is an RPG (Rocket-Propelled-Grenade) style battle. If you don't, simply switch out teammates until you have Woody, Buzz, yourself, and any other teammate in your team. King Mario's first attack is "Fire-ball Frenzy", wherein he reigns fireballs at all your teammates, dealing 10hp. When Mario's turn is over, have Woody skip his turn and when you get to Buzz press "B, Up, Z, Z". Doing so will cause Buzz to activate his wings, swoop towards and pickup King Mario, and carry him up into the sky. You will take control of Buzz in a mini-game. The goal is to make it as high as possible, collecting Batteries and avoiding Neckies and Zingers. Make it to 50 feet or higher when the game ends and Buzz will say "Not today, you tyrant!" and drop Mario down to the ground. If you DID make it to 50 feet or higher, Mario will fall down towards a boarded up Pipe, break the wooden boards, and fall in. The pipe, evidently, leads to...

[Super Luigi!]

... the New York Sewers, where an alligator (not K. Rool) is delighted in King Mario's good taste. Since the king got rid of his sceptor and doesn't have anything to throw, he screams as the gator gobbles him up. It is not quite a sad thing that his adventures have ended here, because he's the bad guy, although you still wish that it hadn't come to this. Suddenly, a bright light appears in the top-right corner of the screen and shines for a brief moment. This is the signal to jump down the sewer pipe. Instead of the gator, you will be transported to the Hoenn region in the Pokemon Universe and meet a female Pokemon Trainer named Kimmy, who seems very familiar to you. This is because you know one of the authors of this story, Super Luigi!, looks just like her right now. Katastrophe Kong, who has also switched things out, then explains how this breaks the cheat story and is just lousy advertisement by saying...

[Katastrophe Kong]

"That's not apart of the cheat! Who do you think you are, Shaun White?" Katastrophe Kong, who clearly doesn't approve of athletes having their own brand of chewing gum, then proceeds telling the rest of the fake totally true cheat code. Once down the sewer pipe, there are three passage ways to choose from. Choose that one. There will be a few Slimes and Baby Alligators along the way. After walking for 20 minutes, you should see a light at the end of the tunnel. This light is actually a train and by now you have only -3.14 repeating seconds to dodge it. Jump on the train and jump inside one of the box cars. You should see some dogs, a hobo (who is actually the famous Hobo Cop), and a sack of potatos. Inside the sack is a leprechaun. He asks you to locate his pot of gold. Instead, give him your Definitive Calvin and Hobbes Collection. He'll accept it and grant you three wishes. For your first wish, wish for a bowl of lucky charms and give it to Katastrophe Kong. For your second wish, wish that Katastrophe Kong was a total chick magnet, for your third wish...

[Super Luigi!]

... wish that the only chicks ever to bust out of the baby and go after Katastrophe Kong were animals carrying (Un)Lucky Charms. After some side-questing with the strange LepRecon, continue on down the pipe. You shall come across a door and four crystals, which will test you memory. Make it all the way to Round 15, and then the crystals and door will explode, revealing a passageway. Enter it, then look left, right, and then up for falling monkeys. Next, you must avoid depressed teenage girls and Rocky Road teenage boys who will bang you for your buck (literally) if they hit you. Don't lose this buck, as you need to pay a $1 fee to escape the sewers. Once you do escape, you are transported to the Hoennn region and meet a girl named Kimmy. She will tell you that you must...

[Lanky Kong]

...complete the game Skullgirls as Peacock...

then beat the same game as ADO! (impossible...)

then...

[Super Luigi!]

...you give a witty one-liner response to somebody who had just given a grand speech 43 days ago. He or she then becomes depressed and runs off. Then, after wondering why you needed to play Skullgirls to unlock DK in DKC2, the game suddenly warps you to the DKC2 title screen. It is at the menu select screen that Cranky gives these wise words: ...

[The Guy]

"You have to bump this thread after a month at least in order to receive the next message."

The message that is received is...

[EvangeliKong]

Congratulations, You Have Unlocked Donkey Kong!

JUST KIDDING.

Learn to hack, tool.

-Sincerely, RareWare Team.

[Geno]

... Then, you end up in an icy area, where Frost Man appears and threatens to turn you into a popsicle. You then need to...

[Super Luigi!]

... throw many barrels at him until he falls off the screen. Then, you must switch to Dixie and fly across a giant pit to a jungle. Once across, a cutscene starts. In it, Dixie gets ambushed and taken to the enemy base. From there, you must escape. To do so, first, avoid the falling coconuts, as they are a one-hit kill. Second, ...

[Geno]

... you need to bump this topic after 4 months of inactivity. Third, you need to use the awesome power of hair to BASH THE BADDIES! until they are all gone. Instead of one Bonus Coin appearing, 9000 Bonus Coins will appear. Now, you need to FIND THE TOKEN!, which is quite easy, as all 9000 of them are located in a rather small janitor's closet. After finding the tokens, you need to use 5000 of them to take a subway to the supermarket to GRAB 1994 BANANAS. (And remember, they have to be GREEN ones!) Of course, this is but another easy task, as the supermarket people always put out loads of green bananas on the shelves even though they're not ripe yet. And after grabbing 1994 GREEN bananas, you realize that that's the release date of the first DKC, so you need to hurry out and go to Kongo Jungle. Along the way, supermarket employees will try to chase you down and kill you because you are shoplifting unripe bananas; you need to deal with them by throwing your remaining 4000 tokens at them. Once arriving at Kongo Jungle, you find a LEVEL WARP!, but you are only able to use it if you pay 1 token. (And since there are no Bonus Coins in the first DKC, you need to have kept 1 token from before.) If you don't have a token, you need to start the cheat over again. If you do, you insert it and...

[Super Luigi!]

...find out that the warp takes you to an afternoon jungle level. There will be many manly Mankey Kongs that will come after you, because you are Dixie. If they grab you, you have to spend another token to restart the level. After evading the Macho Mankeys, you must climb up a tall tree and glide about 500 feet across a pit to land. Now, this is where things get tricky. In this part of the jungle, there will be two types of giant flowers that will hinder you but not harm you directly. The first are pink ones that spray a slow spray (like Kaptain K. Rool's), and the green ones will act as bear traps by trapping you inside while other enemies attack. So, jump over each of them, and watch out for the many Zingers flying through the air. Next, jump inside the only blue flower in the level to advance. It will take you to the crazy Fumpo Fampland, a twisted sort of place where, instead of manly males, there are feminine fatales. Whatever you do, don't attack a single one, for they will punish you severely. Search the area for the KONG letters to open a secret door, which will lead to...

[Geno]

...the Space Grocery store where the Gnawty went in another topic . You need to go around 'till you find Klubba with his still-knocked-over "biggest tower made out of DKC2 carts" . When he sees you, he'll remember the good deed money Dixie gave him in DKC2, and ask for help. (If you refuse, you'll experience the raging fury of papercuts caused by 350 DKC2 Manuals until you die.) So you need to start a bonus game called STACK THEM ALL! Once you finish the tower of DKC2 carts again, Klubba will thank you that now he can be in the Guinness Book of World Records again, and give you...

[Super Luigi!]

... his old pair of boxing gloves, which you must use to KO everyone in the next level. After completing the level, you must find a DK Barrel with Diddy inside in another level. Now light him on fire with a TNT barrel. Now switch to him to defuse the flames. Now switch back and throw him off a cliff. Now watch him come back to you. Now move on with your life. You must then board a ship and traverse it, for it is there that you will need to converse with the magical GhjhjhjErtrtrtNm,m,m,Op[p[p[ , who will then stick Diddy and Dixie to the floor and move the ship at light speed. Lastly (for this section anyway), you must use Dixie to guide Diddy through a pink part of the next stage, and then use Diddy to lead Dixie through the blue part. The Kongs will then discover...

[Geno]

...a switch that allows them to 'fuse' the two parts together, as well as bump this topic. Fused together, they create one big light-purple area, which contains a complete flagpole goal thing, like in DKC3 (the separate parts were located in the blue and pink areas prior to the fusion, but they were not mentioned). After getting to the goal, they are transported to...

[Super Luigi!]

...a randomly original/average island. There, you need to switch to Diddy (because he's supposedly faster) and run to the right. After doing so for 90 seconds, you will hear a chime, and long, golden swirls will, well, swirl down from the trees overhead. You must then climb them like they're ropes. After doing so, Diddy and Dixie will discover that the golden swirls are actually long braids of hair that belong to Roll from the Mega Man series. She will then don her very intimidating Geno outfit, speed-highlight her hair golden brown, and put on a frightening smile. Boss Bossanova will then begin to play. However, Dixie and Diddy must not draw first blood. Instead, they must wait for "Geno" to...

[Geno]

...go off to type the next part of the totally real cheat on her laptop. After that odd diversion, they continue along the island, until they run into K. Rool in a Santa suit, who tries to give them presents. However, it is still the day before the day before Christmas, so K. Rool gets angry and attacks. The only way to beat him, is...

[Super Luigi!]

...to remember ShaneM's and Gaz's advice about giving to those in need and give Santa Klaus a present. He will be so touched by your generosity, he will call a truce, at least for Christmas anyway. Suddenly (in true Super Luigi! fashion), random events will occur. As you progress through the level, you will come across mistletoe, the level's gimmick. Each and every time you pass under one, Dixie must kiss Diddy by using the Team-Up ability, and then Diddy must return the favor. Otherwise, Santa Klaus will appear and tell the Kongs they've been naughty and won't get any presents this year, which will cause Dixie to cry , Diddy's eye to hurt, and you to fail the level. Once at the end, Santa Klaus will congratulate Diddy and Dixie for their Kristmas spirit and give them new band equipment. They will then immediately play them and complete the level. In the next level, you will see that the Kongs overdid their public affections and are now, quite literally, falling head over heels for each other. To pass this test, you must constantly switch between the two characters, because if you don't...

[Geno]

...you will get yelled at by some off-screen character ( ) about not abusing the SELECT button on your SNES controller. Once you switch Kongs 198327561290837 times, you win a free , which you must use to...

[Super Luigi!]

...shoot web platforms and reach a high-up bonus room. Once inside, you will find a Zinger. Stare at it. Soon, more will appear around the Kongs one by one. Continue to stare. Eventually, the Zingers will fly away, and the one you were staring at will give you an extremely soft and comfortable blanket. You must use this blanket to...