DKC Atlas Forum

[Katastrophe Kong]

...Wormy, jump on Wormy and complete 12 levels in a row backwards in one try. If you lose you have to...

[The Guy]

...get hired by Rare and Paon at the same moment. When they decide to make a new, epic Donkey Kong game toghether, you have to stand on an elephant because...

[gamer_boy997]

...they need to get an idea of what balancing on a running elephant (Ellie), will look like, so they can put it in their new game. Instead of being realistic on the elephant, you...

[The Guy]

... need to stand on it with one hand on its back while you eat pudding using a spoon with your right ear. Next, you have to play very DK game and max out everything on the games. Next it is needed to sleep to relax from your headache of constant video game playing while eating potatoe chips, or else you'll have to start it all over again with an aching head. Then you have to...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...flush yourself down the toilet and hope you land in the atlantic ocean, then defeat Chomps and take one of his teeth to King Neptune and give it to him and in return he'll cough of the sword of A Thousand Truths and use it to defeat the mighty...

[DK4Ever]

...Gennghis Kong, the-yet-to-be discovered final boss of DKC allowing you to board Funky's Flights with Kiddy and....

[SmudgeKWOOD]

"...with Kiddy and..."
Chunky, who was recently found guilty of stealing Dumb Drums Koopa`s when he got drunk at Luigi`s house.
Switch to Chunky, and in the plane drop a bomb on DK`s cabin. If you miss, you have to start over.
Now save your game at the Cranky College in K. Rools Keep, exit the game, turn on DKC3. At the menu screen, press LRRLRRLRLRQ and enter: "LOLZA" Go to the Lost World and find the level in which was unlocked by the code, La-la-land. When you enter the level, you notice...

[The Guy]

... you're in a Kirby game playing as the L.O.G.

After finishing the level you have to bathe in steaming water for two seconds. (If you burn up, apply stool to forehead. Twice.)

Then you have to eat a...

[SmudgeKWOOD]

...then you have to eat a...
Hammer, from Super Mario World 3 in DKC1. Turn into "Hammer-Kong" and go back to La-la Land. You'll see that the hidden boss is actually named Consquoconska Kongskaronska, and you find him with his wife in the same place. Using L.O.G. Again, you must attack him with...

[The Guy]

... donuts you have to steal from Homer Simpson while wearing a unitard and a tutu.

Then you have to give a monkey a cigar and teach a squirrel how to water ski.

Both animals will help you get some teleportation gum which you need to chew to...

[SmudgeKWOOD]

...teleport your hammer Kong to DKC1. Now, 110% the game as that hammer Kong alone. Now get your hammer Kong and DK to chew the rest so you can chew into DKC2 and finish the cheat. Easy, right? But instead, you`ll land in...

[The Guy]

... Narobi, where Yushee's eating everything.

Get Adobe from anywhere out of Narobi to kill him. After killing him go into his stomache and help a Gnnawty get some new boots. You have to buy the boots at the fruit cart down the street. In them they'll contain a piece of paper saying "1 + 1 = 3." You'll need to remember that...

Anyway, go to Grunty's Furnace Fun and say that. Grunty will say that's the password to her secret stash of magic cheese. Then take some cheese and head over to Mad Monster Mansion. There, place some of the cheese next to a little mousehole and wait. When the mouse eats the cheese it makes all the Stop 'n' Swop eggs appear. After this head on over to Donkey Kong's House and drop the Green egg (Which is full of acid.) onto the floor. Here, you'll find Donkey Kong's top secret Banana Hoard the Second. Anyway, go back to the Isle 'o' Hags and get Banjo and Kazooie to be your allies, as you'll need them for the next step...

In the hoard of bananas, being the second of Donkey Kong you have to tell Banjo and Kazooie there's a Jiggy in the darker side of the cave that is past a crevasse. Wait while eating the magic cheese from before to make yourself fly ahead of the bear and the bird because they'll need your help in a bit...

You'll see that there seems to be some living Gruntling statues lurking around. Since there's so many of them you need to go ahead while Banjo, who's using Kazooie liked he did in Tooie, will shoot Grenade Eggs at the living Statues. After running past the monsters you'll see a little hole in the wall. Eat some two slices of magic cheese to make yourself shrink and have even more cheese in your bag that just appeared, which has everything fron an oven to a freezer. Anyway, being tiny you'll go through this tiny tunnel and will find a Jiggy on the other end, which is lighting most of the tunnel. After escaping this tiny area you'll encounter Tiny Kong who is angry at you for shrinking at will. She'll shrink too, but you'll grow huge as she is the size of an ant. She'll surrender and you'll get another easy Jiggy. Then you have to put her in your bag because she'll be an useful ally later...

Return to the pair of video game heros and give them the two Jiggies which should make them access an area known as...

[SmudgeKWOOD]

...South Lake Tahoe, CA, where the next DKC game is. But, when you got there, the game was complete. Anyway, go to DK's hotel room in the Motel 8 and find Diddy Kong. Tell him "Code Red." He'll dash out the room. (Even though we don't know what that means)
Now, tell Dixie Kong "Code Pink," and she'll do the same. They'll be back later, 10 posts.
Talk to Durga, Goddess of the drums and ask for an African full drum set and a band drum set Fedex'd to your house.
Download the youtube downloader, and download all of DKCplayer blooper videos. Hack them into the DKC games.
Now hack a Super Mario Brothers 3 hammer (which you found a hoard of 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000....... x 1,000,000,000,000,000) and the level "Hornet Hole" into Super Mario World 1. Go back to Lake Tahoe, go take Tiny, Chunky, and Kiddy Kong to Off the Hook Sushi. They'll order....

[The Guy]

... normal, white rice.

After they eat it all Tiny Kong will spit out a card. Take it, and make Tiny Kong shrink again and place her in your bag again because she'll be handy a second time later.

Then take the Cyan Stop 'n' Swap egg and...

[SmudgeKWOOD]

...Go to the US army and trade it in with a time bomb. Go back to Off the Hook and chuck the bomb (Which is set for 3 seconds) over to Whiskey Dicks. It`s set for low range boom, so there`ll be no ducking necissary.
When it explodes, take out mini Tiny Kong and tell her to find a small crack in the exploded wall. She`ll pull out a mini piece of paper. BEFORE YOU READ IT, buy a Belkin™ Dual Microphone iPod recording device and record every song in the DKC2 & DKC3 music tests. (Not DKC1. If you do, you`ll have to start all over from post one. ) (Also, if you read the paper before all this, you`ll also have to start all over, BUT your pet(s) & your parent(s) will be Castle Crush morph & freeze glitched forever )
Memorize all the drum beats. (If there is none, make one up)
Buy the program "Fruity Loops 5" and make these drum beats. Save in MP3 format. Next, memorize the lyrics to these 5 songs:
Phantom - Mr. Lif
Enjoy the Silence - Depeche Mode
Personal Jesus - Johnny Cash
Round and Round - Ratt
Warning Shots - Gunjun, Sleeping Wonder & Thievery Corperation
Now make and save txt documents of these lyrics.
Now return Tiny to normal size with a growing potion Tiny also found in the crack. (And the paper) Read it: it`s a letter from GE® on how to connect to a server using a TV dish AND an account for a public internet account.
Go to Minden Elementary Schools front/parking area and set the dish which has a satilite USB port with the antenna between the 2 circle-like thingies and put it on the white electrical box. Face it upwards, and open your "Find a server" program. Make sure you have the USB cord connrcted to the satilite USB port plugged into a laptop. Find "Ridge_Plaze_G" and login to there internet account. (Yup, you`re pretty much hacking, yay! ) Click on the homepage sign and click on it. What should come up is...

[The Guy]

... a Rick Roll!

Use some of your magic cheese to bring Rick Astley over to your house and show him the Rick Roll. He'll faint and if you dig in his pockets you'll find 1 quarter. You'll need that to play Pac Man, where'll you'll have to beat that one glitchy level (255?).

After beating it, the arcade machine will give you a...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...a big smack in the face! You should now be in a battle, bring out you're Freakachu and use you're Glass of Holy Crud Water
and pour it all over the cords. It should explode into a million peices, if it only explodes into 999,999 peices you'll have to start again. It should drop a kremling mask, you now unlocked K.Rool, who has the power to break down flimsy walls. Behind the arcade machine is a cracked wall, break it down and you'll see the...

[SmudgeKWOOD]

...the almost forever lost recording studio that Diddy & Dixie Kong used to make an album for there wedding. (OMG Diddy & Dixie had a recording studio in the Heavenly Village in Tahoe?) Get a camera and snap a photo of it. Open up your laptop, and using a text program, write the directions to this studio, for you`ll need to know where it is when Diddy & Dixie come back.
Remember this arcade was at the Heavenly Village in South Lake Tahoe.
Find your wife/husband or get a boyfriend/girlfriend and have him/her stay at the house until Diddy & Dixie come back.
Log back into Ridge_Plaza_G and e-mail...

[The Guy]

... me about how much you like cheese.

I'll send you a reminder that ever since you started to achieve this glitch you bought a jumbo jet, which one of the things you have to do to unlock Donkey Kong.

Use your personal jet to fly to...

[SmudgeKWOOD]

FIJI!!!!!!!! Play every single golf course there. Have your hammer Kong play too.
When you finish, call Dixie on her cell phone. She will not answer, but there will be a message that says...

[Katastrophe Kong]

WOL ULT
Translated means LOL WUT, now find a lol wut pear, eat it and throw it up and feed it to a Pedo bear, it will get sick and turn into Dixie...

[SmudgeKWOOD]

...and you`ll turn into Diddy. Go back to the lost recording studio. You, Dixie, and Kiddy will remix the 5 songs you originally had to memorize the lyrics to. Rap the 5 songs, then you & Kiddy will switch bodies. Now drum for every single DKC2 & DKC3 song (Also remixes) USING THE DRUM SET DURGA SENT TO YOU. Hopefully, all the songs loaded onto the computer. Since Ridge_Plaza_G is still connected, all songs will instantly transfer & save onto your laptop. After that, all bodies will be back to normal, and you, yourself again, and Dixie & Kiddy`ll teleport to Jomingo`s hiding bush and...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...you'll have to chase them, go to Jomingo's Hiding Bush and defeat Jomingo (he has a health meter with 250 health points). You'll need to use your Freakachu and use Wonderbolt on the first few turns and then use Psycho Rage. After defeating Jo you'll get a key, open the invisible door by pouring water on it to make it visible. Inside you'll find Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy tied up, untie them to unlock them. They make any water enemy an animal buddy, go to Koopa beach the first level called Shuri Shores, ride the first Lockjaw up until you see a flimsy coral wall, switch to Krool and before you sink to the bottom of the level bash through the wall to find Posidon's Wand, return it too him in Cotton Top Coves secret level and Posidon will give you a big hug. Then you'll unlock Spongebob, go to Bikini Bottom and order a Krabby Patty. Eat it in less than 3 seconds or else you'll have to start the cheat all over again. Next...

[SmudgeKWOOD]

Before I pick up, I`d like to say that we don`t post DKC users on this so we can talk about killing them. If Jomingo read that... would you like some of Tiptup Jr.`s crunchberries?

...you have to go to Lenguin Lunge and blow it up. Then, use Freakachu`s lost move "Time Warp." This`ll launch your hammer-kong onto a planet called...

[Katastrophe Kong]

Silly me, I forgot to say that it was only Jomingo's Evil twin.

...Planet Crazy Tron, defeat the evil alien named Bob and steal his bucket, he will then say "No they be stealin' mah bucket!". The planet will blow up in less than 3 fourths of a milisecond and you have that exact time to excape or you'll have to speed run Jungle Climber 3 times in 5 minutes. Next, eat lego fruit snacks and poop bricks and throw them at Mr. Wilson's window...

[SmudgeKWOOD]

It`s O.K., :lol: but I have a feeling you meant THE Jomingo... You eaten those crunchberries yet?

...and steal his golf clubs and his dog by throwing hammers. Notice a crack in the floor. Use hammer kong to throw hammers at the crack to break it. Inside is the all new K. Rool, George K. Roolington. Defeat him only using hammer kong and freakachu. To beat him, each character has to...

[The Guy]

... taunt him by slapping their own arses.

After doing it for 200 minutes...

[SmudgeKWOOD]

Arse? Way to be clean, The Guy!

...he`ll get so bored he`ll commit suicide. Now take a time gear which is glued to the roof. You`ll need it later...
Now you know you need 4 more time gears. To get the next one, you must go to Qyzbud`s...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...Grandma's house, ask her to bake a batch of cookies, feed those cookies to the Cookie monster, the boss of Chocolate Island. He will burp up baby head, take the baby head and throw in into the volcano of Mt. Lavalava and it will explode, sending you to the hidden cow level. Milk 5 cows in a row and...

[SmudgeKWOOD]

...throw the fatest one at the wall. YOU MUST OF MILKED ALL THE COWS, OR YOU HAVE TO START ALL OVER. The wall wil crack, and you'll get the next time gear.
Now, arrange a time you can appear on the show "Good Eats." Cook with him, and at the end of the show, sneek out and find the time gear at...

[CoolStyleE]

GRAMMAR CORRECTION FOR SMUDGE: It should be... "Find the time gear behind..."
His turkey painting. Now, go to Bethpage State Park and get to the first tee. Walk up to the oh so famous sign (WARNING - The black course is an extremly difficult course which we only recommend for highly skilled golfers) and...

[SmudgeKWOOD]

...Throw a bomb at the sign and a cave should appear. Go in and press: LRXXXXXXYYYYYYYABABBBYXBAYB→←↑↓↑←→↑↓↓↓←→→↑↓→↑←↓LRXXXYAAAABBBBBP.
This should get you one of the 20 orange birds you`ll need.
Go the the very back of the cave and use Freakachu`s Time Warp. It should malfunction and put a hole in the ground. It should reveal a time gear. IF A TIME GEAR DOESN`T APPEAR, YOU MUST START ALL OVER. Now, go outside of the cave and go to the green at hole 1 for one of the other 19 birds left. All birds are at Bethpage Black. IF YOU SKIP THE ORANGE BIRDS, YOU`LL BE KILLED AND HAVE TO START NOT ONLY THE CHEAT, BUT YOUR LIFE OVER. You now must...

I suggest searching "Bethpage State Park Black Course to help you respond.

[JadeRoseofChaos]

You now must...

divide by zero. Upon doing this you will be revived. However, you will be revived in the parallel dimension of "Minus World." When you wake up, you will be in an underground cavern... and it smells like dogpoop...

Soon, right before your about to faint, a GINORMUS creature comes out of the lava below. It is this dimension's version of RICKROLL! To defeat him, you must recite the DK Rap... backwards...

After defeating the RICKROLL, he will spit out a leprechaun. It will ramble something about a way out being your reward. DON'T TAKE THE REWARD!!!! It's a trap! I'm sure you're wondering what kind of trap, but trust me, YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW!

Spoiler!

He forces you to listen to an endless loop of Barney songs

Instead, ask him for a map.

Then he will give you a map and proceed to explode.

Then you go...

[CoolStyleE]

...And, with Candy, Chunky, & Funky, perform "By the Time To Get To Arizona" [CLEAN] by Public Enemy. One person will cheer so hard, he chokes. While the guy chokes, use Time Warp yet again. If you don`t you suck- err, have to start all over. You`ll land in a huge tree back at Bethpage Black and 2 orange birds are hiding somewhere in the branches. Get 'em, slide down the tree, and...

[Katastrophe Kong]

look for the grain of grass of life. If you don't find it in less than 3 seconds you will be sent to world A-1, which is just what we wanted. Swim to your first bloober and use its tentacle to play jump rope, if you suceed you will be forced down a warp pipe to a toilet in colorado. Find someone whos name is...

[FefeRawft]

Dave the Cactus. Then you must use his spike to torture a Goomba until he give's you Diddy's Donut. Which you proceed to give beat Kiddy with, because he violated Dixie. Then you take the donut and....

[The Guy]

... play ring toss with it at Krazy Kremland.

You have to win a...

[FefeRawft]

bigger donut, which you continue to beat Kiddy with. You give it to Wrinkly, and she dies from choking on Kiddy's blood. Then you ride her over to Hyrule, and....

[The Guy]

... do the rain dance on Link's head while singing "Chocolate Rain."

It will rain chocolate, making the ghost of Wrinkly appear and...

[FefeRawft]

....ride Wrinkly back to DK Island, and steal Dixie's donut. Now you have three donuts. You use them to....

[The Guy]

... summon the most powerful being ever: A guinea pig.

Ride on the Guinea Pig the Mushroom Kingdom and let it destroy the entire location. When Mario comes you have to kill him before the Guinea Pig or else you'll have to do this all over again while reciting one of Shakespear's plays with a dummy until you get up to this point again.

Next...

[FefeRawft]

You cook the Guinea Pig and use it's meat as....

[The Guy]

... something to fill up its coffin dearing its funeral.

Next you have to get Banjo and Kazooie as allies again. After they rejoin you for 0.99 seconds you have to do a back flip. They'll remind you that you still have the Stop 'N' Swop Eggs (If you already knew this you didn't need to back flip). Anyway, make them follow you to the maze of the Pac Man games and pick out the... (Note: It has to be a Stop 'N' Swop Egg.)

[gamer_boy997]

...red egg, and use it to replace the red ghost. The red egg will then...

[The Guy]

...crack and out comes some red yolk. Eat it (after cooking it) and you will be granted the ability to teleport three times. First, you have to teleport to DK Island where you will find a helicopted on/in...

[Tiptup Jr.]

Syphilis, who actually gives you syphilis if you touch him, so you end up...

EDIT: Dammit, that was in response to the worm. Sorry.

[teh epicnes]

going to a place called Glitch Land, which is full of curruption, and there is game coding flying at you. to dodge it you must...

[KremKrawl]

Rename yourself "George," and create a clone of you named "Fred," then kill "Fred" with Charlie the Unicorn, and you must go on an epic quest to...

[teh epicnes]

find the lost multicolored extra life balloon. The balloon that shall grant you OVER 9000 lives. So to begin your quest, you must head to your loccal videogame store and buy DKCR. Once you get home, put the disc in the freezer, and wait 5 minutes. Then, put it in the wii, and a message should come up that says......

[HavocReaper48]

"ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US", which upon viewing will activate The Bomb, and I hope you brought some extra lives because in order to avoid the blast, you must do a very risky stunt...