DKC Atlas Forum

[Super Luigi!]

"Yay ger to Mr. Bad Behavior!" as Gnawty does that mocking laugh like when you jump on him. Then, he sees a paper-thin plumber that he hasn't seen in over a month walking down the street, and cries out to him,...

[Katastrophe Kong]

..."Hey, Paper Mario! Help! I'm stuck in this portal!". Paper Mario instantly recognizes the voice as belonging to Gnawty; the fat kid from community college who everyone picked on. Paper Mario pretends not to hear his cries for help and walks faster. Gnawty squirms as hard as he could to try to escape the portal when a street vendor takes a spatula and uses it as a crowbar to pry him out. Gnawty falls to the concrete and waddles as fast as he can to try to catch up to Paper Mario...

[Super Luigi!]

... who sees him coming, and then instantly takes off running. Gnawty, now an Angry Gnawty, leaps after him and pins PM down. Paper M. then pleads to let him go and bribes Angry G. with a bottle of bubbly. Gnawty then eats cheese and...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...slaps his own heinie with his tail; a traditional Gnawty fighting dance. Paper Mario quickly slashes Gnawty with a paper cut and floats away into the skyscrapers. Gnawty looks down at his scar and shakes his fist angrily into the sky. He realizes this is no ordinary paper cut, and needs immediate medical attention. He crawls to...

[Super Luigi!]

...SL's Fix-Yer-Hurts and was quickly admitted. After Dr. L examined the rapture, he concluded that Gnawty's cut was an O-9-Tails Omega, and that to cure it, Gnawty would have to use 1 of a Cat-O-9-Tails' tails. Gnawty immediately smiled, because...

[Katastrophe Kong]

HER (I forgot Gnawty was identified as a female earlier in the story) best friend is a Cat ' O ' Nine tails named Catherine. Gnawty offered to pay her way to Japan and they would both stay at a hotel. Three weeks later, Gnawty wakes up at 4 in the morning and sneaks out of the hotel. She buys a magical pie from Japanese gypsies and leaves it on the counter with a note that reads "Peye". When Catherine wakes up, she has a slice of the pie for breakfast. But as it would turn out, the pie was laced with chocolate and she dies instantly within sixty to eighty years. In the meantime, Gnawty takes a pair of plastic safety scissors and violently cuts the tail off of Catherine's lifeless, Italian leather jacket. She brings it to Doctor Loser who mistakes it for an actual "Cat ' O ' Nine Tails" tail because he's not really a doctor per say his first name just so happens to be the letters "D, R, and a period" so everyone either calls him "Durr" or "Doctor" for short. He sticks the tail into a test tube and places it into a device called...

[Geno]

... the Ghost Portrificationizer, which he stole from Professor E. Gadd. The machine turns the tail into a painting, and the doctor puts it on his wall. Then, he kicks Gnawty out. The Gnawty, runs to the nearest REAL hospital, where she finds Dr. Mario, who proceeds to toss different coloured Megavitamins down Gnawty's throat. But he realizes the viruses are green, and he has no green Megavitamins. Then...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...he excused himself from the room, ran out into the hallway, and franticaly searched for Scrub Luigi. He was in the mess hall, picking at his green Jell-O with a look of disgust and slight amusement. Doctor Mario pulled Scrub Luigi off of the bench and swung him close to his face, "We've-a got trouble!" Doctor Mario lead Scrub Luigi to the operating room and showed him Gnawty's charts. "Oh-a no, dees-a look bad," pronounced Scrub Luigi. Doctor Mario urged him to take a look in her mouth. "Use-a that stool!" he said, hiding a snide smile. Just when Luigi was leaning over to look inside, Mario pushed him in. He planned to use him as a green mega-vitamin substitute. All of a sudden, the room began flashing a red light, the Earth began to tremble, a loud alarm began ringing. Something inside Luigi combined with Gnawty to create a nuclear reaction. The entire city was evacuated to...

[Super Luigi!]

... escape the wrath of Giant Female Gnawty! With the combination of her own strength and girth, and Super, uh, I mean, Scrub Luigi's massive intellect, Gnawty became a Very-Really-Super-Ultra-Hyper-Master-Gnawty... with a mustache! VRSUHMG thanked SL for her newfound strength, and the two then went to track down Paper Mario, who was near a local supermarket soda machine. She-Gnawty jumped all the way across town to him, and when she slammed against the floor, PM flew 50 feet into the air. Afterwards, someone else wrote the next part of this story, and they said...

[Katastrophe Kong]

..."Dang. What should I type?" Katastrophe Kong, who in real life hardly resembles a chaotic gorilla, decided to have Paper Mario land into an ocean. Paper Mario gasped and flailed around for dry land, but the squirming only made his situation worse. He eventually turned into a small ball of mushy, wet, paper. It only took Very-Really-Super-Ultra-Hyper-Master-Gnawty a few footsteps to catch up to him. She had picked up a long sewage pipe along the way and used Mushy, wet, paper-ball Mario as a spitball. She shot him out of the long tube and Mushy, wet, paper-ball Mario went flying into the sun, where he eventually burned into ashes, which a sailor found on the shore of his lighthouse, smoked in his pipe, and died of "Slipping on a puddle of water and landing face first into a die-pie"anitis. Very-Really-Super-Ultra-Hyper-Master-Gnawty laughed maniacally in the ocean, unaware that she was slowly sinking in a whirlpool in the Bermuda Triangle. When she finished her post-laugh giggles, she was greeted by...

[Super Luigi!]

... a giant octopus, who had been living in that whirlpool. The two stared at each other intently, not sure what the other's intentions were. Very-Really-Super-Ultra-Hyper-Master-Gnawty then pointed upwards, as if to say, "I must be going now." The gargantuan octopus nodded slowly, sending out the signal, "Yes, that is very wise and I approve." Very-Really-Super-Ultra-Hyper-Master-Gnawty then did Zangief's Spinning Piledriver manuver to escape the whirlpool, and upon doing so, she found...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...herself slowly getting larger. It turns out that Luigi is actually 0.2374585662nd sponge, so when Luigi combined with Gnawty in the nuclear reaction, she became 0.2374585662 and a half sponge. She quickly began absorbing the water and everything in it. The world leaders gathered at a conference to decide what to do in order to prevent a substantial loss of money at the loss of all this water. United States President Barack Obama was about to say something when he accidentally dropped his iPhone into Russian President Vladmir Putin's piping mug of hot vodka. The two burst into an argument. Obama argued how he didn't drop his iPhone and that somebody else made that happen. Vladmir was so angry that he accidentally hit Chinese Paramount Leader Hu Jintao in the mouth, which made him start choking on a mouthful of donut holes. Pretty soon, all the leaders were upset and fighting with each other; there were Dictators, Prime Ministers, Presidents, General Secretaries, and all sorts of different leaders all over the place accusing each other of throwing up on them, saying something about their spouse, kicking them in various body parts, and being just plain rude. Just then, all the world leaders stopped cold in their various, frenzied actions and stared astonished at...

[Super Luigi!]

... Very-Really-Super-Ultra-Hyper-Master-Sponge-Gnawty , who had grown so humongous, that she could be seen from the Corporate Death Star in outer space. Quickly, the leaders stopped their fighting and resumed their talks. After a short time later, it was decided that the Russians and Koreans would launch all of their nuclear weapons at the giant beaver in an effort to stop her. President Obama, meanwhile, would tax Very-Really-Super-Ultra-Hyper-Master-Sponge-Gnawty until the water came out of her, and Chinese Paramount Leader Hu Jintao would order his factories to mass produce sponge wringers. When the plan had commenced...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...the first Russian missle strikes were launched. Using her newly gained nuclear super powers, Gnawty was able to absorb the missile's power and throw it back as a giant nuclear ray. Russia was being glassed so the council of leaders had to act fast. Once China had produced enough sponge wringers, they sent choppers with specially trained sponge wringer personnel to attack Gnawty. To distract Gnawty from interfering with the attack, Obama led a ground assault of 300 tax collectors into Moscow, the epicenter of the Gnawty attack. Gnawty, however, decided to cheat on her taxes by disguising as presidential candidate Mitt Romney. The force of tax collectors was repelled just before the helicopters had reached Gnawty. She quickly turned and swatted the aviators out of the sky. However, one of the choppers managed to drop a team of five sponge wringers onto Gnawty's tail under the cloud of confusion. Gnawty hardly noticed as the water was sucked away from her, causing her to gradually become smaller. Obama was becoming bleak. Under a high amount of "might-not-get-reelected-induced-stress", he pressed the fire button on the battle main cannon of the Corporate Death Star. The target? Gnawty...

[Super Luigi!]

...When the beam shot down at her like in Godzilla vs Megaguirus, Gnawty charged her nuclear breath and, just like Godzilla, fired at the oncoming lazer beam. There was a massive explosion, larger than 5 hydrogen bombs put together. When the smoke cleared, no trace of Gnawty could be found. All of the world leaders cheered that the menace was gone, especially Barack Obama, who knew this would help re-elect him. In all actuality, Gnawty had destroyed the beam of deadly light and reverted to her normal size. This is why nobody could see her as she scampered away. After half an hour, Dr. L, who was still in Gnawty's brain, asked, "So, what are we going to do now?" Gnawty replied,...

[Katastrophe Kong]

"Let's go home". So they did. Actually they didn't because if they tried returning home they'd be killed by all those who Gnawty had upset on her long journey. So they took a tank to scenic "Pile of Russian Rubble" and made a small tent out of foliage, steel frames and human skin. They stayed there for many happy seconds until a member of Russia's Emergency Situations Ministry lifted up the roof of the tent and found Russia's Most Wanted. Gnawty was charged with the destruction of Moscow and was sentenced to "25 years of Garfield". Gnawty knew she wouldn't be able to make it past year "2004" so she and Luigi formulated a plan to escape. First...

[Super Luigi!]

... she'd make the lights flicker on and off. Next, Gnawty would call the prison's telephone so that when it rang and a guard answered it, there would be nobody there. Finally, Dr. L would appear in the form of a ghost and would look like he did when Dr. Mario pushed him into the vat. This plan worked, as the guard was completely terrified and ran away screaming. Gnawty and Luigi then went home to become a family plumber and beaver. Super Luigi then asked, "What did they do next, Katastrophe Kong?" And of course, he replied...

[Katastrophe Kong]

"Why they lived a life on the run, of course!" said Katastrophe Kong in a red velvet robe, corncob pipe in hand, sitting on a fancy wooden footed loafer in front of a roaring, library hearth. "It is only common sense to assume the Russians would expend members of espionage into our United States to abduct these poor, guilty creatures!" So then Katastrophe Kong turned the page of the Thesaurus cleverly scotch taped "Dee-Kay Sentence Finishahs" and began making up the next part of the novel. It was true, Gnawty and Luigi could never be truly safe. They would battle off Heavy Weapons Guys and Angelina Jolies all day long during their plumbing shifts. They did this for months, just trying to rebuild their shattered lives. One day, Luigi suffered a mental breakdown. Gnawty was terrified. She didn't know what to do so she flushed him down the toilet. This gave her an idea: they would escape by toilet. Next thing she knew she was sliding down tubes into the sewers...

[Super Luigi!]

... when a fish suddenly appeared in front of her and asked, "Have you seen my dad?" Gnawty told him, "You're in the wrong story, kid," and kicked him away softly. The pipes that she was traveling through lead her to the Mushroom Kingdom, just as they had for Mario and Luigi. Gnawty then found Luigi, now out of her being, on the ground, moaning and groaning. Instead of taking him to see Dr. Mario (the scumbag), Gnawty carried her fallen friend over to his house, as that is where he had requested to be taken. Once there, Luigi managed to grab some of his No-Po-Co-No pills and force them down with a powerful gulp that took much strength. Instantly, Luigi started feeling better, and he then thanked Gnawty for her assistance, though questioned her on the matter of flushing him down the toilet. She replied with...

[Katastrophe Kong]

..."I got you, babe." Luigi had never spoken to a female (be it a beaver or human) for this long before. He blushed, and shyly asked the beaver to be his girlfriend. The two entered into a romantic, slightly sticky relationship. For many weeks they lived peacefully together in Luigi's humble-bumble abode. One day, while Gnawty was out grocery shopping, Luigi received a calm sequence of knocks on his door. He cheerfully answered, but his big cheesy grin melted into a terrified stare of despair- it was Daisy. She assertively pushed herself in and knocked Luigi back onto his sofa. She began tearfully yelling at Luigi for cheating on him with a semi-aquatic rodent. Daisy called Gnawty a tramp, a scamp, a cramp, and most offensively; a lamp. Luigi couldn't stand hearing his love being bashed so he stood up for Gnawty, declaring how she hardly even resembled a lamp under the right lighting. Daisy was so upset, she kicked Luigi right in his...

[Super Luigi!]

...Johovah's Witness, who had also come to the door, as he had done every Tuesday. The Witness then called for thunder onto Daisy, and then lightning! Luigi explained to Daisy that they had never spoke to each other about being in a relationship, so she shouldn't be so upset. Plus, as he pointed out, Daisy was already going out with her motorcyle boyfriend. Daisy immediately blushed, and stammered that, "h-he's j-j-just a f-f-f-friend, r-really." Luigi's then said, in his marvelously authentic Italian accent, "You've a-got no-a business coming-a around here-a, banging on my a-poor door-a, lampshading-a my girlfriend-a. Now I-a suggest-a that you-a should be-a getting on-a back to-a your-a home now-a, Daisy, you-a hear?" Daisy then started crying, and ran on-a... I mean, on back to her castle, or wherever she came from, while being chased by an angry, short, stubby, read-faced Witness. When Gnawty came home, Luigi told her how he had handled the situation. She applauded his courage and decided to make Banana Splits for both of them. While the two ate, they talked about...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...that smell of the rubber handles on the mini-golf putters that you know like a million other people have touched... and they magically were transported to Sweet Cuppin' Cakes, the physics defying mini-golf course based off of Strong Bad's crazy cartoon. Gnawty, however, is far too cool and underground to know even what that is. Luigi explains that they were teleported to Sweet Cuppin' Cakes because they were thinking about mini-golf, and that the only way for them to return is to will themselves back into reality. The two assume a "wigglin'-a-piece-of-crap-outta-yer-butt" position and begin clentching their faces, trying to concentrate on that old, potato-chip-salted couch Luigi insists on calling his "get lucky couch". After 5 seconds of looking like escaped mental patients, they successfully return to the "real" world on Luigi's couch- one little problem; the couch is on a conveyor belt, headed towards a junk yard incinerator. Both Gnawty and Luigi had forgotten that they threw the couch out after they found a live bear inside living off of that yellow fluff inner-lining. The two scramble to think of how to rescue themselves, when...

[Super Luigi!]

... Banjo, the bear who ate the yellow Jiggies in side the couch, returns for the couch. He uses his Pancake-Pressured ^TM Strength to lift the couch off of the conveyor belt and throw it, along with Gnawty and Luigi, far over the yonder. After a moment, Banjo arrived at his target. Luigi gave full entitlement of the official couch rights to Banjo, and even helped him deliver it. Banjo thanked him kindly, waved them away, and then continued to devour the couch. Luigi and Gnawty rode the subway back home, and collasped into their chairs, staring at the Criss-Cross Cliffs ceiling the they had. Suddenly, a bell rang, and Luigi had to leave. He hastily wrote a note to Gnawty and then left. The note said...

[Katastrophe Kong]

"Duty calls, i'll be back soon
love
Sincerly,
~Luigi"
Gnawty is so suspicious about Luigi's sudden leave that she doesn't even notice that he had misspelled "sincerely". She feared for the worst; she feared that Luigi was apart of the Mushroom Mafia. She made up her mind to investigate Luigi's room for any tip-offs. Suddenly, in the hallway, a small blue dog plopped out from the right side of the screen. "Bow-bow!" it said. Gnawty was confused, but soon caught on. She followed the dog into Luigi's room, where she found a pile of his expensive Italian suits sprawled on the bed with a blue paw print on them. The dog then urged Gnawty towards a stack of cash on Luigi's end table. The stack of cash also had a blue paw print on it. Finally, the blue down ground-pounded the corner of the room and revealed a secret basement. Inside was a small table with a lamp, some stationary, a pencil, and a desert eagle pistol- with a blue paw print on it. Gnawty went to digest these clues. She took a small pad of paper and a green crayon and sat on the red loafer in the living room. First, she came up with...

[Super Luigi!]

... the idea that Luigi was a trained assassin. But that was too crazy for her darling, so next she thought that Luigi must simply be really successful, likes nice clothes, and want to protect his family. But this idea seemed to be just what someone would want Gnawty to think. She immediately called her fiance(?) and asked where he was at. What she heard next shocked her. A man's voice was saying, " Alright Ace, give it up. Where'd you hide the dough?" Next, Luigi's voice was heard. " You're not-a going to-a find out, Vickers. I-a know what you-a been doing to Martha, as well as I know-a your plans to-a kill-a her-a." "Yeah?" Vickers questioned, "Well, you ain't goin' to do nothin' about it, see?" Once we're through with you, you won't even remember your own name! Let's get 'em boys!" Soon, Gnawty heard a rather loud and intense scuffle going on in the background. Gnawty knew she had to do something, so she...

[Dixie Diddy]

Decided to check the background and she finds Luigi dead with a note on his body "He's dead for a reason So do some Serlock Holmes'ing and find me" after she read that she...

[Super Luigi!]

... decided to bounce down the street. Gnawty soon came to an old 1940's dust store, where she found many old tastes. An older bald man asked her from behind the counter, "Good evening, ma'am. What can I do for ya?" Gnawty explained the murder of Luigi to the man, who recounted in surprise. "Yep, I know the villain, alright. Vickers ain't a proud one, that he ain't, but he always pays in the end. Go on down the road a while and talk to the Sheriff; he'll help you bring 'im in to justice." Immediately, Gnawty thanked the kind, older, bald man for his words before bounding down the street. Once she reached the Sheriff and explained the situation, he called up the police force to search the city. Suddenly, the whole metropolis was alive with gunfire and explosions, as all the gangs and hoodlums attacked. Once the chaos started, Gnawty...

[Dixie Diddy]

went underground so she couldn't get hurt and when she came up after it ended she saw the metropolis....

[Super Luigi!]

...covered in tomatoes! Apparently, the chaos in the city was their annual tomato fight. Gnawty, who is no way at all related to Geno, then pondered whether Luigi was covered in blood or tomato paste. She went back to the scene of the crime and noticed Luigi's body was missing. She smiled as she knew where the green man had disappeared to. After evading several rotten tomatoes, Gnawty made it to a certain part of the suburbs, where she sneakily invaded someone's home. It was there she saw Luigi, typing something while sitting in a chair at a computer! Once she tapped on his shoulder and gained his attention, Luigi...

[Dixie Diddy]

was shocked he shut down his computer very quickly then he said Gnawty i've been looking at .....

[Super Luigi!]

"... how the psychology behind a certain phenomenon-a works. Your timing is great. Will you please help me test it out?" Gnawty, being the wild and crazy beaver girl she is, told Luigi...

[Dixie Diddy]

yes,yes I will how will you test on me I will...

[Super Luigi!]

"...first grab my glove. OK, now sit down with your arms behind your back."
"Alright, as difficult as this is."
""So, here goes."

Luigi began to slowly move his glove across Gnawty, who was understandably confused. He took notes on her face before continuing with more pressure. Still Gnawty was very baffled by this turn of events, and still Luigi wrote more down. Finally, once Luigi started wiggling his fingers, did Gnawty exhibit strange behavior; she laughed! Luigi noted, "Just as I suspected. But the question remains, why?" Gnawty felt strange, a mixture of pain and pleasure wrapped into a sesame seed bun. At this moment, she asked...

[Dixie Diddy]

What's the question Luigi there was a pause he said as suspected you're...

[Super Luigi!]

"...ticklish! The evidence is all here. However, even though I know what causes the sensation, I still can't-a place WHY it happens. What causes you to laugh? That is what I'm trying to solve. If you want, you can observe my research and try to find the solution." Gnawty did, and while she was searching, she found...

[Dixie Diddy]

A baby in front of the house and when she showed it to Luigi he said ...

[Super Luigi!]

"Mama Mia! What's a baby doing in my research? Well, never mind that. Whose baby do you think this is, Gnawty?"
"Beats me. Hey, how about we take care of it, at least until it's older!"
"That's a great idea!"
"Oh, I want to be the mom!"
"I don't think you can be the mom, Gnawty, since you never wear a shirt.
"You're right. If I was a mom,

Spoiler!

:very-gnawty-laugh:
this would be kind of shocking.

Just call me Daddy!"

And so, Luigi and Gnawty switched gender roles for some reason, and took care of Jr., AKA the baby. After a beautiful stroll through town, the park, and the town's park, the lovely couple then...

[Dixie Diddy]

Gnawty's brother Goody came and....

[Super Luigi!]

...saw the two taking care of the baby and wanted to be the uncle. Then, the trio went back to their headquarters, where...

[Dixie Diddy]

they saw a Klaptrap working the computer and Luigi said...

[Super Luigi!]

"...What's a Klaptrap-a doing here in my-a house? I thought we told you to stay out!" The Klaptrap just stared for three seconds before quickly running outside and under the fence. Then, Goody baked cookies that tasted like...

[Dixie Diddy]

Brownies he said he would never give his recipe the baby ....

[Super Luigi!]

...began crying, so Gnawty gave it a Slippa to eat, and the baby was happy. Soon, it went to sleep. Goody then went on the computer to play Solitaire, when Gnawty...

[Dixie Diddy]

Came off of Dkc atlas she liked the site and was about to join so luigi...

[Super Luigi!]

...informed Master Qyzbud of her arrival. He immediately gathered all the necessary materials and began the celebration. Once the party started, Gnawty decided to...

[Dixie Diddy]

...leave and do some risky Business ,buy some cheese but she had to get it from K.rool without him noticing so she...

[Super Luigi!]

...threw a bagel in the other direction to distract him, before plundering his cheese chest. But just when she was about to return to the party...

[Dixie Diddy]

...she was caught by simion 32 and asked what are you doing and he said i want to show you...

[Super Luigi!]

"...my latest creation! Behold, the Auto-Level Maker! With this device, I shall be single-handily responsible for the creation of new worlds! Of course, that's still many many many many many many many many many months away, but I can still dream. Well, what do you think?" Gnawty responded...

[Dixie Diddy]

...My homeland thank you thank you thank you I will help you when I go in I want to come back to see luigi so simion 32 replied...